Will Ferrell gets his groove on in "Semi-Pro"
(Credit: Frank Masi/New Line)
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“I was going to get certified for SCUBA,” Ferrell told Metromix, “but I have trouble pressurizing my ears. It hurts. So I wouldn’t want to have to do that.”
Opening Feb. 29, “Semi-Pro” tells the story of Jackie Moon (Ferrell), a fictional 1970s ABA player who works to get his team, the Flint Tropics, into the NBA when the leagues merge. With plenty of goofball details—Jackie’s also a hit disco singer thanks to his tune, “Love Me Sexy”—absurd scenes like Jackie wrestling a bear during halftime, opportunities to flash chest-hair and co-stars like Woody Harrelson, Will Arnett and André Benjamin, the movie does seem like more of the same for Ferrell. But the big galoot says the post-“Talladega,” post-“Blades” timing of “Semi-Pro,” which writer Scot Armstrong (“Old School,” “Starsky and Hutch”) told Ferrell about some six years ago, is simply a result of when the script was finished.
“It gives this appearance that I’m obsessed with sports comedies,” Ferrell says. “I love them, they’re fun, but I’m not really always like, ‘OK, I gotta do a wind-surfing movie now.’”
Here’s what Ferrell had to say about his real-life B-ball skills, songs so sexy they cause overpopulation, and Heidi Klum demanding that he get naked.
How would you fare if an NBA team called and said they needed you?
10-day contract? First of all, I would report right away. I think I’d be badly injured. They are strong, fast professional athletes. I would get pummeled. I think I could catch a pass. I maybe could get a shot off because the guys would lay off me as a joke.
What would your nickname be?
It would either be “Vanilla Killa.” That’s K-I-L-L-A. Or what did André … André had a nickname for me as “The Big Beige.”
What’s something you did to increase your level of funkiness for a ‘70s movie like “Semi-Pro”?
Well, I grew my hair out. That’s my real hair in the movie. I grew that out for six months. Started wearing platform shoes a lot. Neckerchiefs. Just around the house. All my clothes just a little tighter. ‘Cause it was a more form-fitting era for fashion.
Does that make you self-conscious?
Not really because it’s what it took to fit into the role. And it’s historically accurate. I’m all about historical accuracy ... [Laughs] … in my comedies.
Jackie has to wrestle a bear. For historical accuracy, how many people were killed in the ‘70s doing that?
There were a lot, yeah. In the ‘70s there was a whole rash of bear attacks. That’s when most of the bear attacks took place. Between ’72 and ’76. Over 10,000 people died in that period of time for some reason.
Jackie’s song is so sexy. Are you worried it’ll cause an overpopulation problem?
Well, I know “Love Me Sexy” has already been banned in China and India, ‘cause they’re trying to [slow] population growth there. But some of those countries in Western Europe where there’s zero population growth and they’re actually losing people, “Love Me Sexy” is being imported there immediately.
What would I have to do for you to sing for me?
Well, you’d have to give me a certified check for … not that much. Like 50 bucks. But it would have to be certified.
Hmm. You took photos as Jackie Moon with Heidi Klum for the “Sports Illustrated” Swimsuit Issue. Who was the more impressive physical specimen during the shoot?
Well, she’s obviously a beautiful woman. And yet I think there’s more kind of raw power when you look at me in a way. I mean, you’re used to looking at Heidi Klum in those kind of situations. You aren’t used to looking at me. So I think I kind of overshadow her in the shots.
Was she more intimidated by you than you were by her?
No, I was more intimidated by her. She was an animal. She asked me to bite her ass at one point. For real.
What did you say?
I said, “OK.” She’s like, “You need to get out of your clothes. You need to get naked. You need to get in your underwear.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I do that a lot. I’m trying to be a little more judicious with all that.” And she’s like, “Come on, come on!” But it was like, how many times would I imagine Heidi Klum was asking me to take off my clothes.
On that note, do you ever flip through a script and say, “I have to do whaaat?”
Yeah, there are moments where you’ll see something that someone’s written and it doesn’t make sense. It’s just to kind of gratuitously get you to get in those situations. But for the most part, if it makes sense, if I think it’s a funny idea, then I don’t have a problem doing it. But I don’t request it. I don’t yearn for it.
Like, “What if I got naked here”?
“This might be a good time …” “No, we don’t need you to.” “OK. But what about on the next page?” “It’s a courtroom scene. We don’t need you …” “I know, but what if the judge says, ‘OK, prosecuting attorney, please take off your shirt.’”
Then what goes through your head when you look at a postcard for “Semi-Pro” and see yourself wearing only white socks, posing with a strategically placed basketball?
It kinda doesn’t feel like it’s me in a way. It’s a little bit like, “Oh, right.” 'Cause a film obviously comes out so far after you shot it. A lot of times you’re like, “Ohhhhhhh. I did actually do that. They actually convinced me to do that. Oh well, it’s too late now.”
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